If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
