Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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