We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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