i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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