I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
