I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
