Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
