? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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