What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
