So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
