i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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