Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You can't motorboat a personality
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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