So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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