Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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