Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
