check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
