i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
