So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
