An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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