I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
