This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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