I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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