sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
