Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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