Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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