You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
