Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we have pet lesbian snakes

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  (248): we have pet lesbian snakes http://tfl.nu/tcmu
  Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (568)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

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  (614): shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way http://tfl.nu/s2k7
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (1168)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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  (210): Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks http://tfl.nu/5a6w
  Replies (5) Good night (7305) Bad night (608)
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  (716): View more from New York

  People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz

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  (716): People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz http://tfl.nu/sutg
  Replies (87) Good night (16014) Bad night (2962)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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  (410): sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well http://tfl.nu/vcbo
  Replies (27) Good night (784) Bad night (4811)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday

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  (573): Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday http://tfl.nu/e47n
  Replies (7) Good night (4449) Bad night (698)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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  (406): Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified. http://tfl.nu/dihz
  Replies (14) Good night (4992) Bad night (1611)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"

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  (804): Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?" http://tfl.nu/agco
  Replies (10) Good night (841) Bad night (3520)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?

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  (409): Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall? http://tfl.nu/ymbz
  Replies (7) Good night (2465) Bad night (821)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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  (859): Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss. http://tfl.nu/wyge
  Replies (12) Good night (4294) Bad night (1072)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.

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  (651): Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid. http://tfl.nu/33yz
  Replies (4) Good night (1290) Bad night (421)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.

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  (907): Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman. http://tfl.nu/89v9
  Replies (14) Good night (2215) Bad night (697)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!

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  (918): Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party! http://tfl.nu/yohs
  Replies (4) Good night (1758) Bad night (466)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.

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  (717): There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option. http://tfl.nu/cutr
  Replies (10) Good night (1041) Bad night (286)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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  (613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (253)

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