Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

(302): View more from Delaware

You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

(865): View more from Tennessee

They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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(865): dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends. (302): You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win. (865): They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/4iwq

Replies (13) Good night (2872) Bad night (461)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.

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(610): Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot. http://tfl.nu/czov

Replies (19) Good night (4423) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

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(401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd

Replies (42) Good night (711) Bad night (7126) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right

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(914): Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right http://tfl.nu/mx4p

Replies (18) Good night (1490) Bad night (3874) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"

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(732): He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!" http://tfl.nu/74ai

Replies (9) Good night (1403) Bad night (5607) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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(937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy

Replies (29) Good night (1127) Bad night (6407)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

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(731): He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars.... http://tfl.nu/aa23

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(773): View more from Illinois

I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....

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(773): I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician.... http://tfl.nu/qln8

Replies (14) Good night (863) Bad night (3426) Order T-Shirt
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(789): View more from

Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.

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(789): Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back. http://tfl.nu/mvrr

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(914): View more from New York

I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.

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(914): I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed. http://tfl.nu/d2yj

Replies (5) Good night (1972) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

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(865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz

Replies (5) Good night (1652) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.

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(267): I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with. http://tfl.nu/vaw3

Replies (14) Good night (620) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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(870): When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody. http://tfl.nu/gc8j

Replies (5) Good night (318) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.

(651): View more from Minnesota

You are a terrible person.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I just try to be optimistic...

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(763): I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless. (651): You are a terrible person. (763): I just try to be optimistic... http://tfl.nu/01d9

Replies (5) Good night (1068) Bad night (262)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.

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(570): 2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card. http://tfl.nu/36zr

Replies (8) Good night (245) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt

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