someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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