i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
