I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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