Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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