just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
