I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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