Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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