nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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