My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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