I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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