we made out on top of his cat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
