where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish you could order shots online.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Randomize
