Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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