The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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