I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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