I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
