Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
