how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize