you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
