can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
