you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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