The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
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I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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