FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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