Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
