You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
