Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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