I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
