PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
