just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize