So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
