do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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