Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
