I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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