all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
