dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish you could order shots online.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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