Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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